I'm giving myself space for this
It's been an historic week here in the United States. So many women, men, and children (including my own) are experiencing intense emotions and asking big questions since the election results rolled in Tuesday night. Whatever side you landed on this election season, I have something important to share with you.
I have seen so many people share messages of the love and light that our country and world need to move forward over the last couple of days. And I honor that.
But I also know how afraid we are of holding the space for grief. For shadow. For fear. For questioning what we thought was true. For darkness.
If you have felt called, in the depths of your gut, to speak the message of love and light in these immediate hours and days after the election, I see you, I honor you, I receive your medicine, and I am grateful for you.
But don't jump to the message of love and light because you think you "should." Be true to whatever is genuinely arising for you.
I am giving myself space to feel the tidal wave of grief and shock that hit me late Tuesday night.
I am giving myself space to cry whenever the tears come.
I am giving myself space to feel the deep fear that surges through my body. I know that this fear has a message for me and I'm willing to listen through the discomfort.
I am giving myself space to see with wide open eyes that the repercussions of this election for immigrants, Muslims, the GLTBTQ community, people of color, our Indigenous brothers and sisters, women, and our precious planet are real. And without an ounce of shame or fear of sounding "defeated," I can simply say that I feel gutted by this.
I am giving myself space to question everything. Including my own limited beliefs and perceptions. Including my own inability to fully see, hear, and understand where half of my brothers and sisters in this country are coming from.
I am giving myself space to burst the bubble of believing it's best to surround myself with people who think and believe like me.
I am giving myself space to let the anger rise up in me. I'm curious that it hasn't come yet. But I know it will.
I am open to learning the lessons of spirit that transcend my thinking mind and I invite peace, clarity, and courage into my heart.
I am watching for the activist in me rising on the horizon. I am envisioning myself and people like me getting off of the couch of comfort and complacency in a way we haven't yet in the 21st century. But not in the old ways of fighting against "the other." In a new way that I can't quite see or conceive of yet.
I honor that I've worked hard to cultivate courage in my life. I honor that this courage has helped me take action and use my voice for all that I stand for. And I acknowledge that there is so much more I could be doing. I must face some big fears I have so that I am capable of doing more.
Yes. I am giving myself space for the grief. The shadow. The questions. The fear.
Because although the darkness is indeed scary it's where we rip off the bandaid of illusion. It's where we honor the ancient need within to mourn. It's where we admit that the "regular programming" is no longer working. It's where our souls are stirred, shaken awake, and opened up to the sacred knowledge of who we are.
I am not sure of all that I will learn in this dark space today but I know that because I'm called to be here at this time, from the depths of my own gut, that I will not rush through or apologize for it.
With love, I will sit here.
With compassion, I will listen.
With humility, I will see the light coming through the cracks of my own stale delusions.
With time, I will emerge from the shadows of my grief and I will be a warrior woman for our children, our people, our planet.
But today I continue to sit and listen.
The one truth I cannot shake from my heart is that we are all one. You and I are a part of this one human family. We are a part of this one living, breathing, pulsing, life-giving earth.
This oneness is the cradle I rest in as I give myself space for my grief.
Give yourself space for whatever is arising in you. Fuel yourself with compassion and give yourself time to hear your own wisdom. And when you feel called to rise, cultivate the courage required of you.
In solidarity with you and our human family,