What happens when you live it all in awe
Last year, my Word of the Year, was JOY. And 2016 ended up being one of the most painful years of my life.
Not because anything awful happened in my external world.
The universe works in mysterious ways, and looking back now I sense that claiming this word catapulted me into a self-initiation of sorts that required me to dive into the darkness.
The journey I took last year wasn’t one of rejecting darkness so I could “be the light.” It was a year of learning to love my darkness as much as my light.
It was a year of looking under the unturned rocks of my soul, stones of shame and denial.
It was a year of feeling utterly confused, learning to trust the profound purpose of the dark unknowing.
It was a year of grief and longing. Grief for what I had to let go of so that I could heed the call of my forgotten longings.
It was a year of releasing what I thought was “right” and melting into what was true.
I learned so many lessons in 2016. Sometimes it almost felt too much to take but I opened myself to release and receive, release and receive, and release and receive again.
One of the lessons I learned last year is this: It is my sacred right and responsibility to truly, deeply, devotedly care for myself.
I work with so many moms and women who have forgotten themselves in the midst of childrearing, careers, and a deep (and true) desire to serve. I have so much to share with these beautiful souls, and I am called to support them.
Although I have a knack for helping others heal and awaken, I came to understand last January how much more I had to heal in myself (almost immediately after I claimed “Joy” as my 2016 word).
So I found myself in a place of deep surrender, the kind where everything your logical mind screams against is the stuff you say YES to.
It wasn’t always pretty and it was sometimes really scary, but I can’t express to you the awe and gratitude I feel for the year 2016 today.
The winding path of learning to be a deeper YES to my joy, and my ability to truly, madly, deeply love myself, has led me to many magical, healing and enlivening places over the past 12 months.
I’m at one of those magical and healing places now, doing something I would have judged as "indulgent" 12 months ago. I’m on retreat at a beautiful yoga and healing arts center called Kripalu. The picture at the top of this post is the sunrise I had the joy of witnessing outside my bedroom window yesterday morning.
I am taking the time to reach out to you today because my heart and soul are overflowing with love, light, and joy. The kind of joy that’s meant to be shared.
When I host my Word of the Year call at the end of this month I’m going to share from a place I never have before.
Why? Because I’m ready and, more importantly, YOU’RE READY.
If you sense it’s time for your own self-initiation into the more you’re uniquely ready for, I’m going to do everything I can to support you.
Today, as you listen quietly to your inner wisdom, to your own longings, to the whispers of what you’re ready to release and receive, gaze upon a place in nature that brings the essence of beauty into your being.
And if you’re desiring a bit of support finding your way into that beauty, listen to this song that feels like the sunrise I witnessed yesterday morning.
“Oh my love. Oh my hope,
the Great Mystery cannot be solved.
There will be joy and grief,
but live it all in awe.”
~ From “Living in Awe” by Cloud Cult
With warmth & light,